Trauma therapy

You may be seeking therapy because it's time to deal with a trauma from your past. Most likely you have avoided talking with anyone about what happened. It may have happened once, or you may have lived for years with abuse. You tried to put it out of your mind and move on, but you realize that what you experienced is still affecting you.

You may have some of the following symptoms:

  • Fear or anxiety (are tense, fearful, agitated, or feel on alert);
  • Sadness or depression (cry, lose motivation, avoid others, feel numb, fear to trust);
  • Guilt and shame (feel at fault);
  • Anger and irritability (lash out at others, have less patience, overreact);
  • Behavior changes (drink too much, use drugs/pills, overeat or restrict food, take risks, neglect your health, avoid triggers, stay busy)
  • Reliving the event (nightmares, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts)

Relationship Trauma

If the above descriptions sound familiar, I'm glad you found me. I'm an expert in helping people heal from trauma experienced in relationships. Some of the forms relational trauma can take include:

  • Emotional abuse (constant or frequent criticism, contempt, undermining, gaslighting, mixed messages)
  • Physical abuse (beatings, intimidation, physical punishment, throwing or destroying objects, etc.)
  • Bullying 
  • Domestic violence by a spouse or partner
  • Rape, sexual assault, sexual coercion
  • Child of alcoholic or addicted parents
  • Child of narcissistic parent 
  • Spouse/partner of narcissist

An under-recognized form of trauma I commonly see is emotional neglect. This often occurs in relationships with parents who are narcissistic or emotionally unavailable.

Children feel unloved, misunderstood, and unseen and think it’s their fault. They’re confused about why they feel so bad - after all, their parents say they love them and provide for them financially. This often leads to chronic problems with self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and attraction to distant, abusive or unavailable partners. 

“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.”

-Bessel Van Der Kolk

How trauma affects love

Trauma affects our ability to trust and to feel capable and worthy. People who are suffering from trauma tend to struggle in love relationships. Until we deal with the past, unhealed wounds often cause us to hurt others and ourselves. This may look like the following:

  • Failing to protect ourselves from others’ abusive behavior;
  • Trouble setting boundaries;
  • People-pleasing to the point where you lose a sense of self or compromise health;
  • Having difficulty communicating our needs effectively (too aggressive or too passive);
  • Having intense emotions that often feel out of control;
  • Experiencing difficulty with emotional and/or sexual intimacy.

Holistic recovery of mind, body & spirit

The good news is that through therapy you can heal and learn to trust and live authentically. I integrate mind, body and spiritual approaches proven to be helpful in recovery from trauma. These include:
  • EMDR Therapy to reprocess traumatic memories and create lasting change in symptoms and sense of self
  • Mindful movement and gentle physical practices to help feel safe, empowered and calm;
  • Dialectical behavior therapy to help manage intense emotions;
  • Spiritual focus (to the extent you wish) to address anger at God, loss of faith and to deepen spirituality

To help you talk about difficult experiences, I try to create a safe space. I structure therapy to meet your pace, and I always tailor therapy to you as an individual. In trauma treatment, helping you feel safe, understood and empowered is the key to healing.