Counseling for codependence
You may seek therapy for codependency if you find yourself obsessing about a loved ones’ substance abuse or negative behaviors. You may feel compelled to try to help a family member change their behavior, with little result except stress, anxiety and exhaustion.
Codependency is a style of relating in which your feeling of wellbeing depends on how others are doing. The term codependence originated in the addiction field.
Codependence is often a coping strategy of people who have been affected by the chaos and unpredictability of family members with alcoholism or addiction.
When you live (or grew up) with an alcoholic or addict, their disease inevitably affects you. When you’re repeatedly hurt by a loved one’s moodiness, irresponsibility, verbal attacks, secrecy, dishonesty, anger outbursts, violence, and broken promises, it’s no wonder you try to protect yourself.
How the need to control hurts
Codependents love to manage, control and “fix it.” You may be over-involved in managing the lives of others to the point you lose a sense of personal boundaries and have no idea who you are.
Many people with codependence can't imagine putting their personal needs above the needs of family members. This leads to simmering resentment, overwork, burnout and exhaustion. It may strain family relationships, as others resent your efforts at control.
Am I Codependent?
You may have a problem with codependence if you identify with some or most of the following:
- I try to control events and how other people behave.
- Without my effort and attention, everything would fall apart.
- To get along and be liked, I need to be what people want me to be.
- I always put the needs of my family before my own needs.
- It’s hard for me to say no to others.
- It's my responsibility to help loved ones solve their problems.
- If I work hard enough, I should be able to solve most problems or fix things for others.
- I don’t usually let others see my real self.
- I push away painful thoughts and feelings.
- I put on a happy face when I am angry or sad.
Ready to Start a Conversation?
Identify with the above? There is hope. Most people with codependence are compassionate, motivated and willing to work to change unhealthy patterns. You can learn to have a satisfying and meaningful life without being so dependent on others’ moods and behaviors. I enjoy helping people discover their true self, experience the joy of a more balanced life, and see the family situation improve as you set better boundaries.
I'm so glad you found me! I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation to explore if we would be a good fit working together. Call me at (919) 619-8110, or fill out the form below.